Monday, September 26, 2005

Slowly healing....

Well, my pussy and asshole aren't as sore as before, but still tender...

My Men haven't been using anything but my mouth for the last couple of days, and THAT is starting to feel a little sore...

The guys have been really good about this whole thing.. I was sure at least one of them would be pissed off, but they've been real nice about it. They're settling for blowjobs, handjobs, and the occasional tit-fuck.
The wives of some of my guys aren't too happy though... They say that since their husbands aren't getting any pussy or ass from me, that their men are more agressive than usual, and that they can't seem to keep up. I guess that they were only getting it a couple of times a week, if that much.. One wife said that her husband has been fucking her every other day now, and doing things with her he never used to do, like ass-fucking her, and coming all over her face! LOL!!!

Three of the wives came over last night, and had me service them all.. They kept fingering my pussy, and not being that gentle, either... They kept playing with my clit, getting me almost to the point of orgasm countless times, but they kept stopping!!
I was damn near crazy with the need to cum!!

After they finally left, I managed to get off two weak orgasms with a vibrator, but what I REALLY want, is a cock (or at least a dildo!) in my pussy and ass!! It's driving me crazy!!

The unannounced visits from strange guys have let up quite a bit.. Gave two blowjobs tonight, before the wives came over, and one while the wives were taking a break. Kinda embarassing doing this guy while they sat there, drinking wine, and talking, all naked, especially when I had to announce, loud enough for them to hear, that *I* was the slut that was available, and they were, like him, here to use me.
But, as always, I take it.
I forgot to mention... While I was servicing the wives, they put nipple clamps on my nips, with some HEAVY weights..and every once in a while, they would give a hard tug to the chain...I thought they were gonna tear off my nipples at one point!
They weren't even being sexual about it.. It was more like "Let's see how much pain we can inflict on the white whore!"

But, as they say, "payback's a bitch!" Wait till I'm healed... their husbands aren't going to have any energy, or desire left, to fuck their wives... I plan on draining their husbands completely, and as often, as I can!!!
Right now, I swear, I'm so fuckng horny, I'm ready to take the chance of ripping my stitches open, by getting fucked before the doc says it's ok!!


Thursday, September 22, 2005

some pics of what I probably looked like..

These aren't me, but I have an idea that this is what I was looking like that night that the Sadist got a hold of me...
Wonder if they took any pics?

Answering a question..

One of the blog's viewers, Emmanuel, asked me how I HONESTLY feel, about being abused, like I've been, for the past few weeks?

Well, Emmanuel, With my ex-husband, he never abused me, and before this past month, no white man had ever hit me.. I had been beaten a bit, years ago, when I was raped by those Black guys, but that, I figured, was part of being raped, so didn't think about it.

At first, I didn't enjoy being beaten, and abused.. not at all.. But I came to realize that, as a white woman who wants to be able to please Black Men, I should learn to take any, and all abuse, that they wanted to dish out..At first, it was like "well, I know that if I take it, and not piss him off, he'll give me that Black cock I want so bad..".. Later, I came to enjoy it more and more, actually having orgasms from being used like a cheap slut, and stronger ones, from being beaten!

Now, I'm to the point that, on those occasions when one of my Black Lovers wants a slow, gentle, loving session, I enjoy it, and I have orgasms, but they are nowhere NEAR as intense as when my Black Men (and some of the white guys, when my Black Men tell me to service them) treat me like shit, and slap me around!

I mentioned a while back, about being told to meet my Men on the corner, wearing nothing but a raincoat and heels, with the raincoat open, for all to see me naked underneath.
What I don't think I mentioned, was that I wound up being taken to a warehouse, stripped of the coat, tied up, and beaten repeatedly, by my Men, and a friend of theirs, who happens to be a real sadist!
I was marked pretty good, whipped, cropped, punched, slapped, and sexually misused, and abused, far worse than normal! I had a black eye, both lips were swollen, and I couldn't sit for days...I typed standing up, slept in constant pain for two days, and it hurt to even move much!
But I know that, while they were laying in to me, I was having some serious, gut-wrenching orgasms!!
I'm actually hoping that it wasn't a one-time thing, and that it will be repeated at least a couple of times a year!

I suppose I'm becoming somewhat over a "pain-slut", but that's ok.. I can deal with it..

So, to answer the question, "How do I REALLY feel about the abuse?"
I guess I can honestly answer this way...

I love it!!!!!

Went to the doctor today....

I went to the doctor today, as my ass and pussy were really sore, and my ass was bleeding pretty bad. I've had my asshole ripped before, and there was some bleeding, but it always stopped after a while.
This time, I was having to take a shit every hour or so, and I was getting blood every time.
I finally went to the doctor that I see, whenever it looks like I've taken too much sexual abuse, and after checking me out, said that he was going to have to give me stitches!

Well, I was in so much pain, that I knew that it must have been pretty bad... He gave me a local anesthetic, to numb me, and he proceeded to give me six stitches INSIDE my asshole, as I got pretty torn up there, and a couple near my clit.. Those are the ones that REALLY, REALLY hurt!!

How did this happen?? I got horny, then I got ambitious, then I got hurt....

A few of my Men came over, and brought a few of their friends.. A total of 10 guys were here, early this morning, and woke me up with a few hard slaps to my face, and tits. By the time I was able to focus my eyes, I noticed that they were all naked, all Black, and all sporting hard-ons.
I smiled, and figured I was going to get used GOOD today, and I wasn't disappointed!
These guys took turns fucking my mouth, my pussy, and my ass, and one of the guys lit up a joint, which always makes me hornier.. Inside of an hour, each man had cum at least once, using every hole, and I had taken a couple of REALLY fat Black cocks in my ass, at the same time, and was loving every second of it!! But, being the high, horny slut that I was, the two cocks in my ass felt great, but I wanted more!! So, stupid cunt that I can be, I asked, no, that's not right, I BEGGED for a third cock in my ass!!
And which one do I beg for?? Naturally, I begged for the biggest!! I felt like, and I told them, that I wanted my ass ripped open, and ruined, by Big Black Cock!!
Well, I got what I asked for, that's for sure!! The third guy was only about 9 inches, but he was the thickest there, with about nine inches ( 9") around!!! I was screaming in pain as he started to push it in, and he almost stopped, but I was so fucking high on the weed, that I yelled at him to just ram it in, to the balls!!
He did, and I felt my ass rip! Only problem was, as soon as he got balls-deep, and was screaming, another guy grabbed my hair, and shoved his cock down my throat!
Well, that did it for me, at that moment, I had one of the strongest, wettest orgasms I've ever had!! They say that once I stopped cumming, I passed out, and they kept fucking me, till they all came in my ass!
They slapped me till I came to, and as I was trying to focus, all I knew, was that I had 3 Black Cocks being pushed into my face! I was on autopilot by then, and they say I went wild licking all their cocks clean!
I don't remember much of it, actually...
I *do* remember though, that, as much pain as my ass was in, I was horny all over again!! Sucking cock always does that to me.. (goofy grin)

I told them, that if my ass could take it, I wanted it in my slut cunt next, telling them that I wanted three of those Big, Black, Nasty cocks in my pussy!
Even now, I'm wondering how they did it.. Hell, I'm wondering how the hell they got three cocks in my ass, for that matter!
All I know is, they did it, and I came almost as hard as when my ass was getting ripped up!
They fucked me for the next few hours, tag-teaming each other in.. when one came, or got tired, he's pull out, and another would take his place.. for at least two hours, I had three cocks at once in my pussy, fucking like mad, cumming in me, pulling out, and being replaced!!
I couldn't even concentrate on sucking anybody while it was happening, and one guy tired to fuck my mouth, and wound up getting his dick bitten a bit, when the guys would hit a spot in my pussy, that made me just clamp down!! Poor guy... no stitches, but his cock's gonna be sore for a week or so... and I KNOW that I'm going to get beaten pretty good for it....
But, as always, I'll accept it as part of life....

Right now, I've got a soft pillow under my ass, and I'm starting to feel the effects of the pain killers the doc gave me, so I'm just going to relax, maybe hop on yahoo messenger for a while, then go lay down..
My men have assured me that I won't be getting any cock in my pussy or ass for a few days, but that my mouth will be busy till my holes heal..
I've got two of my Men's wives coming over tommorrow morning to check on me, and to have me service them... that's gonna be hard, as, besides my jaws feeling a little sore, I can't even play with my pussy or asshole for a while! The doc even told me to TRY and AVOID having an orgasm!! DO YOU HAVE *ANY IDEA* HOW HARD THAT IS FOR ME???? lol!!!!

till later,

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Just got home...

Well, I was right about that guy last night... He smelled BAD!!!!
His cock was nice though (I know... ALL Black cocks look nice to me!! LOL!).. He had 8 inches, and a nice curve to it, and after he was done fucking my face, he came all over my face, then had me lick his asshole.. smelly as hell, but I do as I'm told.
That got him hard again, and he yanked on my hair, throwing me to the floor, and essentially, he just raped my asshole. Hurt quite a bit, due to the curve, but my ass is getting used to it...;-)

He left, after cumming up my ass, and I got up, took a shower, and just laid on the floor in front of the tv, watching some good interracial porn... Fell asleep, and was woken up this morning with some stranger's cock in my pussy, just fucking away.. guess I got wet while I was still asleep.....
He came in me, and I just rolled over, and went back to sleep.

In the afternoon, I get a phone call.. one of my Black lovers, asking if he could come over.
He told me that he wanted to take me to a party, and show me off to his co-workers...I said okay, after checking with one of my new Masters... He said ok, but that I better be a good slut!
I dressed nice, like he asked.. not slutty, but a classy-kind of sexy...
The party was nice, good food, open bar, where I tried not to get too tipsy..he kept introducing me to his male co-workers as his "white slut".. I blushed at first, but got used to it, and soon began feeling proud, that he would introduce me this way.. many of his white co-workers tried to hit on me, but I told them, point-blank, that I only fucked Black men. I said this, many times, near him, and he told me later, that he was proud of me!
After the party, he took me dancing, then to a nice jazz club, and we just spent the evening cuddling in the club...
Later, he brought me home, but not before having me give him a blowjob in his SUV...
I just got in a few minutes ago, and thought I'd let you all know what I've been up to..

Later, when I wake up again, as long as there's nobody there to fuck me, I'm going out food shopping.. I want to make a nice big dinner for some of my Men...
Thinking of maybe making a few steaks, baked potatoes, and maybe some greens... need to make sure I call the wife of one of my lovers, and have her tell me how to make them! I have no idea how, but she makes them so good, I've got to find out!


Saturday, September 17, 2005

haven't been online much lately...

Sorry aobut the lack of appearance online folks, but the last couple of days have been kinda weird...

One of my Men came over, wednesday morning, and tied me up.. He likes to do that occasionally, so I thought nothing of it.. he usually only ties me up for an hour or so.

That day was different... MUCH different.
He hog-tied me, so that my asshole, pussy, and mouth were all available, and started slapping my face, tits, and ass, HARD!
He then told me something that scared me...He planned on leaving me tied up like that till monday, with just an occasional break!
This is one of those breaks.. he looked at my computer, and found the link for my blog. He read it, and decided that I should write at least once a week, about my new life.
See, after he had me tied up for about 6 hours, having invited a bunch of strangers over to fuck me, as well as a few of my other Men, he finally told me to give him the phone number for my job.. I did, and while he was dialing the phone, told me that my days of working a "straight" job, were over...He, and a few of my other lovers, had gottent together, and decided that they would support me partially, and I would also become their whore, fucking whoever they brought over...
He told me to tell my boss that I was quitting my job, permanently!
He's also informed me, that soon, I would probably be getting a webcam, and would be making some movies, and possibly showing myself getting used, on cam, probably on a pay site or something.
I'm allowed occasionally, to post here, and get on Yahoo messenger, but otherwise, my freedom is to become very limited....
I don't know how this will go, so please be patient with me for a while..

For now, I have to go, as one of the conditions of them paying most of my bills, is that my front door is NEVER to be locked again... I never know who will cum by, ad I'm to offer my body to anyone who walks in, and a strange Black Man just walked in... He looks old, and dirty, but I've got to do as I'm told....
Stay tuned!

Monday, September 05, 2005

more porn

Still trying to get the hang of this.. pics don't go where I want them!
But here's a few more that get me wet, in no particular order...

Some of my favorite porn pics.

Bored, and sore, so I figured I'd kill a litle time here, and post some of my favorite pics.. These are the pics that make me wet, for whotever reason. No particular order, and no particular reason, they just got me wet everytime I look at them...

The first pic here, is one of my favorites. You'll notice the name "Admiral Krag" on it, as well as the next one..

I came across the "Admiral Krag" series of scans years ago, when I first started checking out newsgroups. He started scanning, and posting magazine layouts for posting to the internet, about 10 or 15 years ago, when the average computer had only a 640x480 sceen size, and we were lucky if we had a video card that supported thousands of colors, much less the millions we have available today. His scans were always the clearest, and the best quality, while still being small enough to view fullscreen, yet big enough to enjoy.

(Yes, I've been on the internet THAT long!! But I mostly stayed in "lurker" mode, being too shy backk then, to post anything.. How life changes!!)

New Job

Well, I didn't take that job at the massage joint.. at least not full-time..
I've worked 3 days so far there, thinking I might do it once a week or so...

Last two times were kind of average.. Nothing special.. sucked off a couple of white guys, let a couple of asian busnessmen (at least that's what they looked like) jerk off on my face, sort of a mini "bukkake", got my pussy fucked a few times,and my ass seems to be pretty popular with the guys..
Still, the sex, while fun, is nowhere near as satisfying as when I'm with my Black men.

Got a new job, working in an accounting office, as a secretary. Boring, but the pay isn't bad, and the people seems nice.. No freedom to take long "fuck-lunches" like I used to, but, such is life..

I met a new guy a few days ago, a Black Man, naturally, and he's really nice... older, around 50, distinguished, very low-key. His names Abraham, and he's sexy! Not in a way that I'd normally be attracted to my men, but we started talking, and I could see the lust in his eyes..
He asked me out to lunch, and was a total gentleman! He took me to a little asian place, one I hadn't heard of before, really out of the way place, and the food and conversation was flowing like we were old friends that came to the place all the time!
(Turns out he *does* come to this particular place wuite often)

It's weird.. he hasn't come on to me yet... not sure how to take that. But it was nice to just sit, eat, and talk like a normal person, instead of him treating me like a cheap white slut, like the other guys do.

I went out Friday, not having been out alone for a while, and decided to visit an adult bookstore that has gloryholes... I was in the mood for some anonymous cock, and seeing how it was Labor Day weekend, my Men were all with their families and such, and I was really in the mood for some anonymous cock.
Dressed as slutty as I could, and still be legal (hell, if I could, I'd go out dressed in crotchless panties, and a push-up bra, and heels, and nothing else!) I was wearing a short skirt (VERY SHORT), with a slit on the side that ran all the way to my waist, exposing lots of thigh, and a sheer black blouse, with no bra underneath, and naturally, no panties, heavy makeup, and a pair of 4 inch heels, open-toed.
I went into the bookstore, browsed the adult magazines and videos for a while, and looked at the assorted sex-toys, finally deciding on a nice thick dark-brown dildo, about 10 inches, with a suction cup, and a pair of "clover"nipple clamps.
I told the clerk not to bother bagging them, and opened the packages right there, in front of her(the clerk was this older woman, about 60, and white) she looked at me kinda funny at first, then smiled a knowing smile, as I started feeling all the veins, and ridges on the dildo. I picked up my new toys, and walked into the video booth area, and walked straight to the booth that I knew had the gloryholes, paused before going in, to let the guys see me going in, and entered, and locked the door. I put a 20 dollar bill in the machine, and chose a good interracial flick, and stripped down to just my heels. I wet the suction cup of the dildo, and got on my knees in front of the hole, and positioned it just right, and slid right down on the dildo (my pussy was already plenty wet, by the time I got to the bookstore) and put the clamps on my nipples.. (God, I love the feel of my nipples being clamped! The pain/pleasure is so damned good!)
There was already a guy in the booth on the other side of the hole, and I motioned with my finger, for him to stick his cock through... no go... turns out it was a gay guy, and *he* was there to suck cock too! He told me to get out, so other guys could come in, and I told him no, I had just put 20 bucks in the machine, and I wasn't leaving till I sucked some cock through the hole!
He got out a few minutes later, mumbling something like "Fucking hetero slut!"
Poor guy! Jealous, I guess!
I sucked quite a few guys off that night, none spectacular, but one sticks out in my mind.. He came into the booth after I had been there about an hour, probably sucked off about 6 guys, and had a few decent cums myself, along the way, thanks to the dildo, when this one cock pokes through the hole.. there was only about two inches sticking through the hole, and it was white, but I had decided earlier, that I wouldn't leave until I either (a) got tired, (b) ran out of 20's for the machine, or (c) the line of cocks dried up. So I sucked his cock into my mouth, all the while wishing it was longer, so I could swallow more, and within about a minute, the guy came. It was a gusher!!! I mean, this guy was shooting like a water fountain! It hit the back of my throat with such force, that I gagged! (and I rarely gag when cum shoots into my mouth!) The taste was ok, but what made it so hot, was the sheer force of his cum shots! I pulled back for a second, to recover, and that cock kept shooting, long, watery shots, that hit me square in the face, then, as I backed up a bit, shot all over my breasts! I swear, the way this guy was shooting, his balls must have been pulled back into his body, from the force of it coming out! He soaked me! I quickly put his cock back in my mouth, noticing a very strong taste, like Indian food, which was a little unsettling, but I was shocked that, even after all he shot on me, I was still getting such a mouthful of cum, that I had to keep swallowing!! I'm sure it only lasted a minute or so, but I swear, it felt like I was swallowing cum for 5 minutes straight!!!
By the time he was finished, my chest was almost covered in watery cum, my face was a mess, and I was in the middle of another orgasm! I licked him clean, and he pulled his cock through the hole, and pushed a 20 dollar bill through!!! I thanked him, and told him it wasn't neccesary, but he insisted, saying that I should use the 20 to keep the movie running, so I could stay longer. (He obviously understood bookstore/gloryhole ettiquette, in that, it's a business, so you've gotta keep putting money into the machine, to stay there. Most guys forget that, and then wonder why, when they're in the middle of sucking cock, management comes and bangs on the door!

I stayed there for at least 3 hours that night, and when I wasn't sucking cock (didn't see any that made me want to get fucked by them), I was riding my new dildo, and yanking on the nipple clamps, making myself cum over and over.
When I finally left, I had dried cum all over my chest and face, and some in my hair (I wear cum in my hair like a badge of honor, btw), and my knees were dirty, and red, from being on them on that dirty floor for hours, my pussy had finally dried up a bit, and I had tucked the dildo and clamps away in my purse.
I climbed into my van, and headed home.. didn't get fucked, but my craving for anonymous cock was satisfied.. at least for the night...
One of my Men called me last night, and came over. Seems he and his wife had an argument over something or other, and he needed to let off some steam.
He came over, and found me naked, and waiting for him, as usual. I had his fav drink in my hand, a bottle of malt liqour, and he took it from me, and started to chug it down, while sitting, and I proceeded to strip him down.
When I got his pants off, his cock was sticking through the fly of his boxers, and I started to lick it, when he grabbed me by the hair, and shoved my mouth down on his cock. I didn't complain (I rarely do), just went to work sucking. He was more brutal then usual, and told me that I better plan on not going out that night, as he was in the mood to smack me around, to let out some of his tensions. He fucked my throat pretty hard for a while, then yanked me off his cock, stood up, finished stripping, and grabbed me by the arm, and yanked me around, throwing me down, face first, ontot he kitchen table. He told me to stay there, and not move, and he proceeded to smack my ass pretty hard, before ramming his cock, dry, into my ass! I screamed in pain, as he's got a pretty thick 9 inch cock, and, as I said, I was dry back there (knew I should have lubed up there!) but he kept on fucking me, finally cumming in my ass as I screamed in pain/pleasure (hurts like hell, but I love being used like that!)!
He finally pulled out, grabbed my hair, turned me around, and forced me to my knees, telling me to clean his dick. I went right to work, tasting his cum, and my ass, as well as cleaning a little blood off his cock. When I was done, he pulled back, and really let me have it, a hard slap, right across the face! He told me that was for not saying thank you! Well, you know, I immediately said I was sorry, and thanked him for using my ass for his pleasure, and, as I was saying that, he started smacking my tits!! HARD!!! Now, mind you, that hurts like hell, but it's also one of the things that gets me off big-time!!
I became instantly wet!! And he got hard again right away! (he has a bit of a sadistic streak in him, which is why we get along so well!)
He fucked my pussy for about an hour after that, with me on my knees, on the living room floor, till he filled my white slut cunt up with his Black seed.. Then he flipped me onto my back, and fucked me that way for awhile, alternating between my pussy and my ass, till he came again, this time in my ass, all the while, smacking me in the face, tits, and even right on my pussy!

I've got the makings of some pretty good bruises right now, all over my chest, my lips are swollen, and I think Ive got a black eye right now.. But they never last for long, and I've gotten pretty good at hiding the marks with makeup.

All in all, he was there for about 4 hours, and he came in my mouth, my pussy, and my ass, my pussy twice,before dragging me by the hair into the bathroom, and pissing all over me. By the time he was done with me, I was a quivering mess, still orgasming my ass off, just from his treatment of me, and he kissed me so tenderly afterward! He thanked me for letting him blow off some steam, and asked if I was ok, while he was getting dressed. I told him yes, I was going to be ok, and thanked him for using me, as he was heading out the door.

Most people would say that I'm a sick, fucked-up bitch for putting up with that type of stuff, but I learned a couple of years ago to accept almost anything from my Men, and learned to get pleasure from hard use!

I'm going to go out tonight, a few of the guys got together and made plans. they want to take me to someplace special, they said..
They told me to be ready to go, and to wear only the highest heels I have, and a raincoat.. I can't wait!